I was supposed to meet a friend of a friend once for some sports-related matter. My friend Amy described her to me the best she could: short, pretty, blonde hair, super high voice…. I easily recognized her the minute I got to the game. A few weeks later I saw Amy and we talked about how her friend and I met and how she described her well. Amy said, “Oh yeah- she also asked me how I was going to recognize you and I just said ‘look for the one with the big tatas!’”
“Oh how perfect”, I thought.
You see, I’ve always hated my enormous breasts. They have haunted me for as long as I remember. For the longest time, they represented that one part of my sexuality that I hated. They didn’t make me feel sexy, just bloated- like I had two painful balloons just bursting out of my chest.
Do I love them now? Working on it… I asked myself why I hated them and realized it’s because I was just sooo above average in size (DDD or E on a bad day). That’s big! When I was in high school I begged my Mom to take me to a cosmetic surgeon to discuss a breast reduction. She obliged- she had witnessed my struggles and understood it herself since she is similarly well-endowed. We learned I wouldn’t be able to breastfeed (mind you, this was in the 80′s and I think they’ve improved the surgery) since they couldn’t properly reattach the ducts. I’m thankful I was grown-up enough to predict this would be a devastating ability to lose when I did have children. He also told me the woman he saw before was truly the definition of BIG breasts- she was a MM. Pretty sure I didn’t even know that size could possibly exist. I left there feeling just a little big LESS well-endowed that day.